You Might be a Social Media Guru if…

There is an inherent hazard to being involved in the social media world that few people publicly talk about. We snicker about it, exchange knowing glances, agonize when our clients have been bamboozled by it, and blast out cryptic tweets when we come across it, but few of us put this pervasive evil on display to allow the world to enjoy a collective eye roll at its expense. What is it that I’m talking about, you ask? It’s the Social Media Guru, of course!

I think it might be time to build a public profile of these imposters who certainly don’t get it and would do everyone a favor by ceasing to share their particular brand of Koolaid. Without further ado… ten signs that you might be (or have encountered) a Social Media Guru:

1. You might be a Social Media Guru if you begin every conversation with your Twitter follower count, Facebook friend count, or with the phrase “I’m huge on [insert social network of choice here].”
2. You might be a Social Media Guru if you claim, and actually believe, that you can teach anyone how to “do Social Media” in a day for just $30.00.
3. You might be a Social Media Guru if you use name dropping as a substitute for a quality portfolio of work.
4. You might be a Social Media Guru if you use auto DMs and insist they actually work for you.
5. You might be a Social Media Guru if you think the first step to blogger relations is throwing free crap at them. Because, hey, bloggers can be bought.
6. You might be a Social Media Guru if at every networking event you attend the people you meet have suddenly run out of business cards.
7. You might be a Social Media Guru if “automate” and “broadcast” are the two most frequently used words in your vocabulary.
8. You might be a Social Media Guru if you secretly admire a Twitter-bot’s ability to accumulate so many followers so quickly.
9. You might be a Social Media Guru if you self-identify as an influencer, even though you’ve never created a unique piece of content in your life.
10. You might be a Social Media Guru if you think the mere presence of “Guru” in your title will convince people that you actually know what you’re talking about.
11. Have you come across any other tell-tale traits of the Social Media Guru? Share them in the comments!

PS: Check out my friend Maria’s blog post for an inside perspective on the ways of the South Florida Social Media Gurus and the destruction they’re capable of.